a place to put words

treat him well

ive thought about getting a body pillow and cutting myself. i have too much self control to let myself do such things however. i fear what my life would be if i didnt. there are people that love me, and in my heart of hearts i know that! sometimes it just feels nice and safe to forget that and sink into that abyss inside me. but i won't. i care about those who care about me too much to let that happen

It’s so beautiful looking at people talking about how much they love this song. I’m currently listening to this crying in my bathroom remembering how much joy this game and song brought me. I have over 500 hours in this game finding as much as I could and forgot this songs title. When I found 3 years later it I was overjoyed, and I sit here now thinking how such a simple thing could bring me to tears. The simplicity of the song, the way it seems to dance on your ears as each chord shifts into something somehow more beautiful than it once was. A feeling of serene calm that seems to transcend all conceivable stress or sadness. Life is short and scary, some thoughts if dwelled upon can destroy us. But life is also beautiful, and the simple act of standing in a simulated town can bring me so much joy, or at least the memory of joy. The memory of joy is sometimes all we need to carry on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=259C4AaOHn0

in everything i do i am on the verge of something okay. smash, drawing, school, everything. its like grasping at sunlight, but something doesnt click. i can see that im not good enough, that i just dont get it, but cant do anythign about it and then the people who do get it are dwarfed by those who get it even more life goes on i suppose

maybe a human isnt such a bad thing to be