Slop by Forth Wanderers is a good song that i have listened to a lot today
i wish i could eviscerate the will to speak. all my thought are pathetic. the scream i use to cry out is just as pathetic as the tears which are just pathetic. even my melodrama is fucking stupid. grow the fuck up you piece of shit, people care about you are you act like this? go listen to MCR and cut yourself you fucking loser.
no no nononononono ppl care about me and i know that. i wish i wouldnt feel so pitiable. my existence is so stupid and meaningless.
god i bet you think your so cool and edgy huh.
why cant i feel anything without having to second guess it. why cant i just be like some random white girl from upstate who can watch the notebook and go to church and be happy in a sad kind of way.
at least there is comfort in knowing that i will die an incredibly painful and gruesome death some day. yes its macabre and probably not something i should ever say out loud but i cannot wait to see myself die. to see myself bleed, organs pouring out of me as i see myself die. not that i would ever do that to myself, but idk the thought of being murdered in such a way brings me some happiness. its like a weight off my chest.
this is so dumb. even my spacebar is broken such that everything i write looks like a fucking ransom note. maybe thats a good analogy. im taking myself hostage right now, degrading myself in order for others to come and negotiate. alas the terrorist always kills the hostage in the end, so who knows.
i feel a little better now i guess. i should really just stop talking forever. vow of silence. nothing i say is important, but some ppl care about it. not sure why though, you're all fucking fools. almost as pathetic as me.
almost.
no no nononononono ppl care about me and i know that. i wish i wouldnt feel so pitiable. my existence is so stupid and meaningless.
god i bet you think your so cool and edgy huh.
why cant i feel anything without having to second guess it. why cant i just be like some random white girl from upstate who can watch the notebook and go to church and be happy in a sad kind of way.
at least there is comfort in knowing that i will die an incredibly painful and gruesome death some day. yes its macabre and probably not something i should ever say out loud but i cannot wait to see myself die. to see myself bleed, organs pouring out of me as i see myself die. not that i would ever do that to myself, but idk the thought of being murdered in such a way brings me some happiness. its like a weight off my chest.
this is so dumb. even my spacebar is broken such that everything i write looks like a fucking ransom note. maybe thats a good analogy. im taking myself hostage right now, degrading myself in order for others to come and negotiate. alas the terrorist always kills the hostage in the end, so who knows.
i feel a little better now i guess. i should really just stop talking forever. vow of silence. nothing i say is important, but some ppl care about it. not sure why though, you're all fucking fools. almost as pathetic as me.
almost.
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