paradise amidst pandemic

i made us sandwiches because all the restaruants were  closed
we sat together  on a cold day, making sure that we werent  too  close  for contagion to spread
and then the sun shone, as if god said "you  are right"
we pecked eachother  on the  cheak and neck, learning what our bodies were  for at a time when they were weapons
all i wanted  to do  was absorb your presence   into  my everlasting  present
we  drank water from seperate  glasses
every  touch of  the face was accompanied by purell
our love would travel but contagion would not,  and  as we layed in eachothers arms looking at the cold sky i pondered how this moment  is  everyhting i could have ever  wanted and yet its here, and its so simple. no fireworks, just  cold air and warm  breath.
we ate at the G train  stop, so filthy,  and the facade wore off
i got  the call that my mom tested  negative and we kissed so deeply in that instance, hours of anticipation and careful planning cast to the abyss from which all love springs

we  contaminated eachotehr  in that moment

and  then went our seperate  ways, counting  the  days till  we could see  eachother again. the hours dont tick by fast  enough, i push the seconds past me like vines in a jungle but  tehre is nowhere to go, nothing to do but suture

all love is suture, to love is to suture, all we can do is suture

and because of all this i understand what being an adult is. for the first time i feel my age. for the first time i can feel myself growing up  in real time. adulthood is the management of minutia, navigating the collapse of your dreams and seeing it fostered in small things. maybe there is metaphor in my broken space bar, in the abandoned shoe, in the quiet streamer

all i have of this moment is a polaroid and a memory. which will decay faster, i wonder. we both kissed it because we knew that it would  be a  long time before we could kiss again.  i refuse to forget the taste of her lips  and the not so subtle curvature of her smile.

until we can contaminate eachother once again
- me to you

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