things ive learned in the past 3 days
1: you will never have enough time to do the things you want to do, so do them
2: my voice drones on when i rant, it becomes this sound with one tone. more passion!! i think i see how it happens now, and can recognize when. more passion!!! maybe then people will find me as interesting as i think i am
3: "he's back in the hospital" is the most disheartening words that can exist. when my grandmother died i felt weird that i didn't feel sad. it just happened, and the world got gloomier. maybe i like to think that this is what spawned my sort of self reflection. it's scary that scary things can happen to you so far away that it becomes hard to feel it. ive heard those words so many times that they lose their meaning. life is sad. life is still. we come to being in fiery shrieks of agony, as if we can predict the suffering to come. we die in somber stillness, hopefully around or thinking about those that walked the painful journey with them. i hope i will be awake when i die. i hope i will be alive and feel it coming. is that so much to ask?
4: the end of summer is weird. there is no moment, it just happens. life goes on. no new chapter is begun, rather just another page turned, another paragraph among many. maybe i will find people i like more. i think i like these people, but maybe im just cruel and narcissistic. i wish i could believe myself.
i wake up early tomorrow to watch the sunset with people i think i enjoy being with. something nags me that there could be more, but i think this world is too beautiful to forfeit a flowers fragrance for fear of other gardens being brighter
good luck champ
-you
2: my voice drones on when i rant, it becomes this sound with one tone. more passion!! i think i see how it happens now, and can recognize when. more passion!!! maybe then people will find me as interesting as i think i am
3: "he's back in the hospital" is the most disheartening words that can exist. when my grandmother died i felt weird that i didn't feel sad. it just happened, and the world got gloomier. maybe i like to think that this is what spawned my sort of self reflection. it's scary that scary things can happen to you so far away that it becomes hard to feel it. ive heard those words so many times that they lose their meaning. life is sad. life is still. we come to being in fiery shrieks of agony, as if we can predict the suffering to come. we die in somber stillness, hopefully around or thinking about those that walked the painful journey with them. i hope i will be awake when i die. i hope i will be alive and feel it coming. is that so much to ask?
4: the end of summer is weird. there is no moment, it just happens. life goes on. no new chapter is begun, rather just another page turned, another paragraph among many. maybe i will find people i like more. i think i like these people, but maybe im just cruel and narcissistic. i wish i could believe myself.
i wake up early tomorrow to watch the sunset with people i think i enjoy being with. something nags me that there could be more, but i think this world is too beautiful to forfeit a flowers fragrance for fear of other gardens being brighter
good luck champ
-you
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