i want to be popular. not in a "sitting at the cool kid table at lunch" popularity, more of a "leader of an online cult" popularity. cults are bad and all but the aesthetic of some secret online self devoid of any external materiality is fascinating to me. wouldnt it be interesting if i was a completely different human being than was originaly apparent? at that point how would i be able to justify my own existence given that i have a whole life somewhere else? i want to be the simulation of a self broadcasted to the fringes of a world you didnt even know existed.
i was getting my haircut today and the barber starts talking to his friend in Albanian. he then says to me "it must be weird hearing it, sounds like its from another planet". i respond with "i dont mind, a lot of my friends speak other languages. i always ask them to roast me in their native tongue and i will never know what they say". he then says "whenever someone hears a new language the first thing they want to learn is how to curse and swear. no one ever wants to learn the pretty words". it stuck with me we draw so few breaths on this planet, why waste it on fighting
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